September 9, 2019. This date brings to my memory an experience looking back, I stand in awe of God. You know when I share stories of being mocked for being without children, some people think I cook up stories. So, see. This is one. Exactly a year ago on this day, while we were still dealing with the trauma of a miscarriage, trying to settle down in our new jobs and in a new country, the devil laid it in somebody’s heart to remember me. You know how we pray to God that our helpers should remember us ba… this one received an instruction from the devil for me.
This person yielded to their wicked desires and sent me this anonymous message (picture attached), all filled with hate, manipulation and vile. Reading this message again, I am given to believe that this may not exactly be about us being without children, It appears to be some deep seated envy/jealousy of me and my achievements. This person had and felt the only way to demean, mock or spite me was not having a child at that time. They probably wanted to use me to prove some silly points they’ve concorted in their heads about me being in misery, being unhappy, gloat, and make subs about me. I mean, what else could they use to shame me? I get job, I dey obodo oyinbo, I get man wey get sense…na pickin remain.This moron ensured that I read this message (by drawing my attention to it) and waited for me to read the message. The anonymous identity and deliberate attempt to hide the gender, proves it’s a well calculated attempt to hurt me.
A message crafted deliberately for pain. One deliberately carried to hide the identity (and gender too).Just as the sender intended, the message hurt me deeply. This is not something I’d be dishonest about. I doubted my truth and reality. I started to ask if there was something wrong with me. I started to ask if I was really a virgin when I got married or maybe my organs had been destroyed somewhere without my knowledge. I started to ask if I really got pregnant when we did. I questioned God several times. In everything, I am grateful for my sisters, few friends and my husband who held my hands all the way.
I cried buckets of tears. If there’s anything that has hurt me most in my entire existence, it’s this message. I was dealing with the trauma of a miscarriage, feelings of failure and helplessness, and somebody sends me this message. I was almost going mad with hurt. I couldn’t understand it. The only thing in my head that kept me sane was knowing we had been pregnant before – an information this moron was unaware of, and called me barren. For each tear that I shed, I cursed this person over and over again. I cursed this person in my pain and sorrow. I was like Hannah in the Bible who was mocked for being without a child.Hehehheeheh.But look at God o. Just a look at God. Two months after this message was sent, we got pregnant and exactly a year later, God gave us a son. Hahahahaha. Isn’t God good?
To whoever you are: I’m posting this publicly because somehow I think you’ll get to see this. Who are you when God has not spoken? It’s even silly. I don’t understand it. What were you thinking when you sent me this? You forgot people intentionally decide when they wanna have children? What of if I was pregnant at the time you sent this message? Didn’t you think of that? What of if the issues you highlighted had nothing to do with me? But your dark heart and evil intention wouldn’t let you understand all that, neither would you realise that in a split second, God can turn things around for anyone. It just took my father a year. Nothing is indeed impossible with him.
You wrote me this in a cruel attempt to mock me whilst hiding your identity. You said I’ve hurt people yet in the same breath say I’m not one of those I’ve hurt. How manipulative?! If you had some guts, you should have come out boldly to say what beef you have with me. The general belief is that you expected me to gloat about my lack of children, be miserable, wear mourning clothes, even go offline, choose to discontinue living because of this. You watched out for when I’d make posts about being worried because we had no children. With each landslide I made, each milestone I achieved, each posts I made that proved to you I was genuinely living my best life now, you were bitter. I’m wondering why with all your hate and bitterness for me, you couldn’t come out boldly to send me this.
Why did you have to use an anonymous number to send me this? I’d have expected you to chest your bitterness for me and reveal who you are. Shows how despicable and wicked you are! A human who lacks conscience! But you see God…He has shamed you! You should hide your face in shame!
Whoever you are.
May your life continue to be miserable. May you never have any reason to rejoice.
May every good thing elude and be far from you.
You’ll suffer and live your life in agony. You’ll live the rest of your live in misery.
As you deliberately sent me this message to spite me, and cause me pain, same in greater measure, press down, running over shall be given unto you. Amen!I hope you seek repentance and genuinely repent (na, this is not because I want to know you), but because if you don’t, you’re gonna live the rest of your life in penury, lack and sorrow.
To any of you who deliberately mock others for what they don’t have. I hope you’ll learn from this. I know it’s hard to openly confess here if you’ve been guilty of this, but I hope that in your closet you’ll cry out in repentance, seek forgiveness from whoever you’ve hurt and sin no more. If you don’t, the same fate awaits you. I hope you’ll realize that you have absolutely no right to mock anyone for whatever they seem not to have. I hope you’ll understand that you do not have your own life in your hands. I hope you’ll realize that the person you’ve mocked today can be in a better position (than you) tomorrow.
Learn to be kind. It costs nothing from us. People fight battles everyday. Many of which are unknown to us, the best we can do is to be kind to them. ***
NB: Kindly walk past this message if you’re tempted to drop any kind of unsolicited sanctimonious of forgive and forget. I’d delete your message and block you!Until this person reveals his or her identity AND shows remorse or repentance TO ME, I’m not obligated to offer my forgiveness. I know God has shamed this person but it also gives me absolute joy to put this out, call this out, afterall Bible says we declare it to the wicked, it shall not be well with them. This person deserves no mercy from me.I have waited for a year to make this post.
When I received this message, I NEVER said a word to this person. It’s lifted off my chest now, so please, desist from telling me I shouldn’t have posted this. Or you expected more from me. Remember, I’m not your role model and I don’t operate with the standards you’ve created of me in your head. You’re also free to curse this person. Rain as many insults as you like. Humans like this are despicable and we shouldn’t spare them.
***Leaves the stage and sings …*Who has the final say? Jehova has the final say****
Finally, may I use my story to encourage every woman or man waiting for a child. Everyone who has suffered miscarriages or some sort of infertility issues, everyone battling with some pain, some grieve, or some battle on your inability to have children. Everyone who has been mocked and called all sort of names, jested at etc.I want to hug you and tell you that I can relate – maybe to a little extent but I understand your struggles. I understand the pain.
I use our son as a point of contact for you too. I pray that God answers you speedily and suddenly. May He give you your own testimony just like He did for us. May your mockers bow their heads in shame.***EDIT:
When you’re done reading this screenshot, know that THIS PERSON IS NOT A MAN. THE END OF THE MESSAGE IS A DELIBERATE ATTEMPT TO HIDE THE GENDER. It’s a DISTRACTION… you know…so that while I’m being careful with men around me, I wouldn’t know the real enemy is a woman. Men are hardly petty with issues like this. It’s women that often carry another woman’s inability to have children on her head, mocking her fellow woman. So while you curse out, please curse like you know this is a woman’s handiwork. We need the curses to be directed appropriately o.