Your insecurities would ruin your life before its ruins your home.
Feeling insecure in a relationship is horrible for the one who is feeling the insecurity. The burden – of fear and obsessive thoughts, of feeling powerless, of awful awareness that all this insecurity may actually itself be destroying what you treasure most – can feel pretty unbearable.
But it’s also tough for the person on the receiving end of all that insecurity. The truth is that being involved with a really insecure person can be hell.
People say we have a beautiful relationship and wonder how we have been able to put things together..but we haven’t had it all nice and rossy. He’s done a lot of working in me and helping me to become better.
8 years ago when I started with him, I was an insecure young lady. Insecurities were my second name. Unlike very fundamental issues that split relationships, we had none but there were big lumps of insecurities lurking in my heart and mind which I needed to deal with.
I remember always searching his phone looking for what’s not lost. He would just look at me and shake his head for me. I was finding it very difficult to trust the man I had. Because I didn’t trust myself, I couldn’t trust another. I realised I was hurting myself more because when I searched, I found nothing. The ones that looked like there was something, my insecurities wouldn’t allow me think logically and I’d make a mountain out of a mole hill only to discover that I was the fool by the time my eye cleared.
That’s what insecurities does to you…
One day, we had to sit down and talk about it. I also had to talk sense to myself too because my insecurities were destroying the beautiful relationship we had both built. I was seeing it. I needed none to tell me that it was killing me…and destroying him.
I must confess that, it didn’t go away in a day but I soon learnt to trust the man I am with considering that he’s never lied to me and never given me any reasons to doubt him.
Today, I am at peace with myself. I no longer feel insecure or check his phone in the search for what’s not lost. When I am in doubts, I ask questions. I don’t assume. I can confidently allow him handle his. And he trusts me to handle mine.
I don’t know where this ends but I just employ you to search your heart this year and deal with the root cause of your problems. It was easy to say there was nothing wrong with me, believe such, because the world encourages women to always check their partner’s phone afterall the cliché that all men cheat still holds in many minds, but for me, I knew the problem was with me. I became true to myself, dealt with the problem and now I am free.
So Happy New Year to you all. I am just exited about 2017. Some say this year is “my” year, whatever that means, I don’t know o.
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