LADIES- DO NOT PUT YOUR LIFE ON HOLD FOR MARRIAGE

A single friend of mine started her relocation sometime last year and is now here in Canada. She started this route without waiting for marriage. She tells me men full ground and she wouldn’t wait for marriage before she does something tangible with her life.

I like her and I like how she knew she could actualize her relocation plans as a single person.

But this is not the mindset of the typical Nigerian lady.

A typical Nigeria lady is waiting to be married before she takes major life changing decisions of her life.

She is waiting to be married before she starts that degree or course she really want to.

She’s waiting to be married before she takes that concrete step to relocate or start a business or write that book, or launch that startup.

Somehow, she thinks being married would immediately launch them into her dreams. She believes marriage is a magic wand that would immediately jump-start her plans. She thinks marriage would solve all her problems, cater for all her needs and automatically puts her at the centre of their dreams.

She doesn’t know that in most cases, she can achieve more as a single person than being married, because the person whom she’s waiting for has the huge possibility to put her plans on hold.

I’d explain.

Marriage is a very good thing, but it also comes with loads of responsibilities. This responsibilities demand your time, resources and money.

Pregnancy is one phase in Marriage that adds responsibilities and delays your personal plans.

Child bearing is another.

This is why you may have heard many married women say, I wanted to go for that degree, I wanted to start that business, I wanted to go for that course, but I got pregnant, started raising kids and had to put everything on hold.

No, I’m not saying you can’t achieve your plan nor reach your peak being married, but you do it faster being single. This is because your focus is not divided and you’re running unilaterally with your goal solely in mind.

No, your partner doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad guy nor does it mean he is a dream killer, however remember, you’re bringing into existence another human who also has his own plans in his head. This fusion comes with sacrifices and changes that delay what you should have achieved if alone.

Dear single lady,

If you’re sure about what you wanna do, please don’t wait to be married before you start. Start immediately. Start now.

I have to mention this, not in any way to boast at all. Many of my friends who desired to go for their second degree and didn’t start while single, are yet to still do so being married. Those who did, struggled amidst very uncomfortable circumstances.

This is because marriage responsibilities delay personal plans. It’s a reality many know too late. Beyond the euphoria and glamour your wedding day brings, comes the reality that marriage brings sacrifices, many of which are painful and uncomfortable.

This is why I implore you to achieve all you desire to do being single. At least try. Do your bit. Do your best. Look back with contentment and be proud of yourself. There’s nothing like wishing you had done something earlier.

Don’t just wait for Mr right to come sweep you off your feet while you just do nothing. Start working on your own goals and purpose.

I was speaking to a friend yesterday who desires to relocate to Canada but is waiting to be married before she starts the process. I had to tell her that if this is what she wants to do, she should start immediately. Asides that applying as a single applicant is cheaper and quite straightforward, you just never know the kind of man you’ll get married to.

He doesn’t have to be a bad guy to put your own plans on hold. He may just not be ready to move at the time you want to. Perhaps, he may have businesses in Nigeria and doesn’t see the move at all, or he may be that guy who’s a snail in making decisions, doesn’t take risks, thereby truncating your plans; you therefore become a gunner.

Two of my close friends who wish to relocate have partners that are delaying them. No, they’re not bad men but they don’t just key into the opportunity.

One of them, her hubby likes the idea but he wouldn’t lift a finger. Unfortunately he’s the one with the higher qualification, therefore as to be the one at the forefront.

The other isn’t even interested at all. The thought of relocation irks him. In his mind, those who leave, go on to do odd jobs and barely survive.

This is why I told my other single friend, and I’m telling you too, please do what you have to do before you get married. Let that love meet you ahead.

Truth is, if this friends were single, they would be better for it. But their men wouldn’t allow them be great.

If a man wouldn’t put his plans on hold until he gets a wife, I don’t see why you should put your own plans on hold until you get a husband.

2019 is almost gone and I know many are waiting to be married before they become intentional about their lives. Please don’t. You may get married and realize this too late. I hope this post would help you have a rethink.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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